The Blog

September 2016

Curiosity saved my marriage (and a fab resource to practise it)

(A 4-minute read... but what's important isn't the reading, but the action you take) Curiosity has saved my marriage. Not just once, but many, many times. Actively practising curiosity has reminded me that this three-dimensional human being is more than "my husband" or "him indoors" or "my other half" (I [...]

August 2016

Finding my voice, feeling the fear, writing the truth

Write the truth, they say. Simple, powerful advice. I love it. When I read the truth, something happens in my body, a visceral response that feels resonant and real. I want to write like that. Real. Clear. Raw. Bare. But I have a problem: some days, I don't know what [...]

ACIM + Relationships: How we turn arguments into intimacy

(5 minute read) Nige and I had an intense argument the other day. It was pretty horrible to be honest. I left the house for 45 minutes and walked on the South Downs, watching the sun set and taking deep breaths. Hey, I'm a distancer, what can I say other [...]

Life: happening to you or by you?

(A 5-minute read) As a kid, I often experienced life as happening TO me rather than BY me. Perhaps you can relate. As I've shared before, my mum was an active alcoholic throughout my childhood and I didn't meet my biological dad until I was 13 or 14 (apart from [...]

You are the one your family has been waiting for

(4-minute read) If you have been waiting for permission to be emotionally messy, or creative, or authentic, or intense -- to be you -- this is it. I’m giving it to you. But hold on... so what? Permission from me might be fairly meaningless to you. Ultimately, I hope it is. Because really, [...]

June 2016

MANIFESTO: Victoria Hodder

Last year when I started the Fearless Expression Tribe on Facebook, the hub where people doing the Fearless Expression Challenge could share and connect, I did not anticipate that it would become an incredible hub of vulnerability, creativity and courage. But it did. The women and men in this group [...]

May 2016

The arrogance of believing you don’t matter

(A 7-minute read) A friend said he'd call at 9am one Sunday morning. I held my phone in my hand the whole way round the woodland trail where I was walking Molly to be sure I didn't miss him. This was new behaviour for me; so often in my life, [...]

Struggle with the language in A Course In Miracles? Read this.

"Help! I just can't make sense of it!" (A 6-minute read) Do you struggle with the language in A Course In Miracles? Do the masculine pronouns feel irrelevant or oppressive? Do you feel triggered by or resistant to all the God/Father/Christ/Son of God/brothers/Holy Spirit stuff? You are definitely not [...]

Are you busy? No, not really. Here’s why.

Photo: Alisa Anton via unsplash (A 2-minute read) Since I started working for myself, people often ask me, "Are you busy?" By this I think they mean, how is the business going? Do you have enough work? Is it going okay? They ask this because in our world, [...]

April 2016

What are you teaching?

A 5-minute read The following article was published in a magazine for EFL teachers in 2014. Regardless of whether you are a teacher or not, this message is for you. Teaching Courageously: your invitation to walk the road less travelled Teaching requires courage – especially in the beginning. Each lesson presents a [...]